I’m Here For You

By: Hanson Phreek

Author’s note: Well, I lost one of the pages of one of my other fanfics so until I can rewrite it that one won’t be up. But here is my newest fic. While I was typing this fic I realized that I have Taichi and Yamato cry a lot, oh well. I kinda had to, it helped show feelings in the story.

Warnings: This story contains child abuse, depression, self- mutilation, mention of suicide and yaoi. If you are sensitive to any of the above mentioned issues please do not continue reading. Go back to where you came from. Most of the idea came from experience. I, at one time, was a cutter, someone who cuts them self to release emotions, usually pain or hatred. I used my feelings for Taichi and my friend’s feelings for Yamato. And yes, my friends actually thought I was going to kill my self. But as you can tell I never could.

Author’s note: I really don’t hate Taichi’s dad, I was just tired of seeing Yamato always getting abused so I turned the tables. I was told this was a good story but I’m not so sure about it. Of course I always say that.

Disclaimer: Digimon and all characters from Digimon are not copyright of me but belong to others (I can’t name them off the top of my head). The only thing that belongs to me is the story its self. Please do not take it with out permission. The song, Live For Me, at the end of this fic was written upon request by one of my best friends, Poke-Phreek.

Dedication: I want to dedicate this story to Poke-Phreek, FreakyPhreek and all the other Phreekz out there. I also want to dedicate this to all the Taito shippers in the world. I would also like to dedicate this to all those who have made it through depression and cutting as well as those who know someone who did. And to those who have lost a friend or loved one to suicide.

Now on with the story!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He sat in his class grinning like an idiot. His friends were the only ones that knew why he was so happy. His friends didn’t even know the whole story. They only knew part of it. He is a senior this year, just like most of his friends, the rest are either freshman or sophomores. You see he is gay, everyone in the school knew this. He was the only openly gay person in the school. Sure, there are others, they just don’t tell very many people. He came out about a year ago. It’s weird because ever since he came out he’s become even more popular. He was rather popular to begin with, especially with the girls, considering the fact that he’s the lead singing of Teenage Wolves. Ever since he came out he became more popular with the guys, even strait guys started to like him. Mostly because he was no longer a threat, he wouldn’t steal their girlfriends. But back to the subject at hand, he had a boyfriend. It was his first relationship… considering no one knew he was gay for a while and he would always turn down the girls. It’s a long and sad, yet happy story. You see his boyfriend is his best friend. They’ve been friends for eight years. He thought back to when it all started, five years ago.

~~Flashback (Five years earlier)~~

Ishida Yamato sat in his room thinking. He had a lot on his mind at the time and was trying to sort his thoughts. He was starting a band and they needed a lot of practice, he had the high school test in a week, which he had to continue to study for, and he thought he liked his best friend, Yagami Taichi. He had already decided that he was gay, but had told no one, so he had no one to go to for advice. He decided to concentrate on the test next week and worry about everything else later. He pulled out some books and started to study when there was a knock on his door.

“Yamato. You have a visitor,” Mr. Ishida called. Yamato opened his door and walked down the hall to the living room. Only to see Taichi sitting on his couch silently crying his eyes out. “He won’t say anything but ‘I need to talk to Yamato.’ Maybe you can help him. I need to get back to work. Bye.”

“Bye,” Yamato sighed. Taichi never cried. The last time Yamato had seen Taichi cry was when his sister, Hikari, had almost died in the Digital world. Of course the only one to see Taichi cry was Yamato. He sat down across from Taichi and waited for him to speak.

“I can’t go home,” Taichi sniffed.

“What? Why?” Yamato looked slightly worried.

Taichi lifted his sleeve up so Yamato could see a few bruises and cuts.

“What happened?” Yamato asked.

“He. He hit me.”

“Who hit you?” tears started forming in Yamato’s eyes.

“My dad. He hit me again.”

“Again? How long has this been going on?”

“T-two years.”

By now both Yamato and Taichi were crying, Taichi more violent though. “Oh my god. Why didn’t you tell someone sooner?”

“I was afraid. Afraid of what he’d do to me and Hikari.”

“Taichi, I’m gonna call the police. Ok?”

“No! You can’t. He’ll just hit me more.”

“No he won’t. The police will get him help. They’ll keep him away from you.”

“No. Please don’t call them. Just let me stay here tonight.”

“Ok. Where’s Hikari gonna be?”

“She’s at Miyako’s. She’s having a sleep over.”

“That’s good. But we need to go to the police.”

“I can’t. I just can’t.”

“You know I’m here for you right?” Yamato moved to sit next to his best friend and wrapped an arm around him. Taichi flinched but then nodded and leaned on Yamato, crying on his shoulder. Yamato tried to comfort him.

Yamato’s dad came home later that night and saw Yamato sitting alone on the couch. “Did Taichi go home?”

“He’s asleep in my room.”

“What was wrong with him?”

“Nothing really. He just got into a fight with his parents and left.”

“Well he’s welcome to stay here as long as needed.”

“I know. Well, I’m tired and planning on sleeping out here so…”

“Ok. Good night, son.”

~~ A few days later ~~

Taichi was still at the Ishida residence. He had talked his parents into letting him stay there for a week; hoping things would be better when he went home. Yamato’s dad was at work leaving Yamato and Taichi home alone.

“Taichi, we have to tell the police. It’s the only way things will get better,” Yamato argued for what seemed the millionth time.

“I’m just not ready. Please, just don’t tell anyone. Maybe things will be better when I go back. Promise you won’t tell anyone.”

“I promise. You know I wouldn’t tell if you didn’t want me too. But promise me if it happens again you’ll tell me and we will call the police.”

Taichi nodded, “Thank you,” Taichi hugged Yamato. Yamato slightly blushed at the sudden contact, and then mentally smacked himself.

Baka. You can’t like him right now. He needs your support…Yamato thought to himself.

~~End of the week~~

Taichi had left the day before and Yamato was worried. Taichi hadn’t gone to school that day and when he called no one answered. Yamato looked at the clock sitting on his desk. 2a.m. I have to get to sleep.

He was about to drift off into dreamland when he heard a knock on his window. He sat up and turned on his light. He slowly walked over to the window and saw Taichi standing outside, tears streaming down his face. Yamato quickly opened his window and let Taichi in.

“Did he?” Yamato asked him. Taichi nodded. “Why didn’t you come sooner?”

“I couldn’t leave. I had to sneak out. He locked me in my room.”

“I’m calling the police.”

“Wait till the morning please. He’s asleep now and doesn’t get up until after Kari leaves in the morning. No need to wake them up now,” Taichi continued to cry.

Yamato embraced Taichi in a hug. It took a while for Taichi to return it. After a while they both fell asleep on Yamato’s bed

The next morning, Yamato was awake first. He got up and sat in his computer chair and watched Taichi sleep peacefully. Suddenly, he got a brilliant idea for a song. He grabbed a pen and some paper and started to write it. It wasn’t finished but was a good start.

Taichi woke up a few minutes later, “Good morning.”

“Call”

“Geese. That’s a nice way to say ‘Good morning’”

“Just call,” Yamato tossed the phone at Taichi.

Taichi dialed and spent a few minutes talking to the person on the other line. Yamato tuned him out and went back to his thoughts. I wish he had told me sooner. But it’ll all be ok now.

“Ok. They want me to go down to the station as soon as possible. I told them we’d be there in an hour. Is it ok if I shower?”

“Sure”

Taichi left and Yamato drifted back towards his thoughts. He’s cute. Where’d that come from?

~~Change to Taichi~~

“Sure”

Taichi left and walked down the hall to the bathroom. He quietly turned on the water, got undressed, and hopped in the shower. He let the water run over his face. He had had trouble sleeping last night. He hoped his father didn’t realize he was gone and go looking for him. He looked at his arms, both covered with bruises from his dad. Recently he had been wearing long sleeves to cover them up, it made sense for him to.

After a while he got out and remembered he didn’t have any clean clothes. “Shit.” He wrapped the towel around his waist and threw his clothes over one arm and walked back to Yamato’s room.

“Hey, can I borrow some clothes? Preferably a long sleeve shirt,” he said motioning to his bruised arm. Yamato tossed him some clothes and Taichi went back to change.

~~Change to Yamato~

Taichi back to Yamato’s room. When he opened the door Yamato looked up and blushed, then quickly looked back at the floor, cursing him self for blushing, and hoping Taichi didn’t notice.

“Hey, can I borrow some clothes? Preferably a long sleeve shirt,” he said motioning to his bruised arm. Yamato got up and rummaged through his draws grabbing some pants, a shirt and boxers. The idea of Taichi getting into his pants made him giggle to him self and blush even more, and mentally smack him self, again. He tossed Taichi some clothes and he left to change. Why did you have to go and blush then start giggling? Although Taichi getting in my pants would be nice. Stop. I can’t think like that.

Taichi walked into Yamato’s room. I’m ready to go. Wow you changed.”

“Yeah. Did you think I was gonna go in my nightclothes? Well, let’s go. My dad’s already gone so I’ll leave a note saying we went out.” Yamato scribbled something down while walking towards the kitchen. He placed the note on the table and then he and Taichi left.

The walk to the police station was quite. Neither had anything to say and both were deep in thought. Neither realized how much alike their thoughts were. They both thought, at the same time: He’s cute. I gotta stop that. They blushed in sync and mentally cursed each other for being so damn hot.

They made it to the station a few minutes later and Taichi was taken to another room for examination and questioning.

~~Flash forward 3 years. ~~

“My dad gets out today. They say he’s ok now.” Taichi sat next to Yamato at Yamato’s house. It had been three years right down to the day that Mr. Yagami had been arrested. Taichi had battled depression at first. He would cut him self out of hatred for his dad, but after a year Taichi was fine, well as fine as he could be, and all that were left were scars.

“How are you feeling about this?” Yamato look concerned. He and Taichi had become even closer these past few years and he knew Taichi would be scared about this day but need to hear him say it.

“I’m worried. I don’t think he’ll start again, but he may hate me for getting him arrested and wasting 3 years of his life.”

“Well, I’m always here for you.”

“I know. You’ve been great to me all these years.”

“I knew you need a friend. I don’t have the crest of kindness for nothing.”

“That’s true. Just thanks.” Taichi hugged Yamato. After they released each other they were both blushing and couldn’t make eye contact for what seemed like forever.

~~One week later. ~~

Taichi found him self once again crying at the Ishida residence. Yamato was holing him and crying him self. Taichi wouldn’t tell him what was wrong and the last time this happened Taichi was cutting him self. Taichi was once again wearing long sleeves in the middle of spring, which was not a good thing.

“Tell me what’s wrong Taichi, please.” Yamato begged.

After Taichi had calmed down some, he sat up, pulled away from Yamato and pulled up his sleeve. Yamato gasped and cried more forcefully. Taichi was cutting him self again.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t help my self. I don’t want to do it but I just can’t stop it.”

“Do you like doing it?”

“No. In fact it scares me. Here. Take this from me.” Taichi handed Yamato his dad’s pocketknife.

“You used this?”

“Yeah. It reminds me of my dad. I guess having him around made me think of the last time he was home and I couldn’t help it. I hated him again and need to take it out on something.”

“Please don’t ever do this again. It scares me. Now I’m gonna worry that you’ll try to kill yourself. I care too much to let that happen.”

“I won’t. There’s too many people out there who need me, you especially.”

Taichi wrapped his arms around the now sobbing Yamato and they stayed like that for a long time.

~~2 years pass. Still flashback. Lunch right before present. ~~

Later that night Taichi had tried to kill himself but just couldn’t. He kept thinking about the look on Yamato’s face when he saw what he had done. This depression lasted only a few months and things were back to normal again. Also later that night, Yamato remembered the unfinished song from three years earlier and finished it.

Yamato sat at lunch thinking about Taichi, who was talking with someone at another table. Yamato was off in another world when Taichi sat next to him. “I need to tell you something. It’s really important so listen carefully.”

“Huh? Sorry I wasn’t listening.” Yamato laughed.

“This is serious.”

“Don’t tell me your depressed again.”

“Nope. I’m actually extremely happy right now. I just found out that the person I like likes me back.”

Yamato looked sad, almost hurt at that.

“Guess who that person is.”

Yamato shrugged.

“It’s you silly. I like you, and according to Takeru over there you like me too.”

Yamato perked up and blushed.

“Well, I was wondering if you’d go out with me.”

Yamato smiled, “Yes. I would be honored.”

~~Present. ~~

I can’t believe it. He couldn’t wait until that night. The Teenage Wolves have a concert and he was going to sing that song he finished two years ago and only he and Taichi would know what it really meant. After all, he had let Taichi read it just a few weeks ago and he loved it, it was sad and made them both cry, but they loved it. It makes them remember how it all got started.

~~That night. ~~

“The last song we’re playing tonight I want to dedicate to my boyfriend, Taichi Yagami.”

The crowd cheered and when it got quiet Yamato started singing.

* Live For Me *

Your soft eyes

Turn my way

You run to me

And we cry the night away

My best friend

With you I’ll stay

You’re one in a million

Who believes this is fate

No one to turn to

Home just isn’t the same

No one to love

Or to share in the pain

Secrets,

Stories,

Anything –

To cover up the pain

Tears fall,

Hope fades

Years go by

In flashes of pain

Friendship is something

You can’t wave away

It’s your one shinning light

In the midst of the rain

You feel there’s nothing you can do

Whenever you try,

You just always lose

Gather your courage and I’ll gather mine

We’ll fight this together

With love on our sides

The knowledge alone

Leads you to shame

Forget all the scars

They lead to more blame

Numb to the world

You do it again

I see fresh marks

That hatred began

Kindness is something

You wish you received

But instead of a smile

A slap of deceit

Reliable friends are what you need

In this time of confusion

In this search for sincerity