When asked to do a fanfic for Hanson-Phreek, I didn’t know what to do. I’m not good at the whole “fanfiction” thing. I didn’t want to do Digimon or Pokémon, since that’s all that seems to be here. I also didn’t want to do Buffy since I wouldn’t want to defile my secret fantasies by making them public. So I decided to do a fanfic about the sink. Enjoy.
By: Freaky Phreek,
as told by Sink
So,
you’re wondering what it’s like to be a sink, do ya? Well, it sucks more than
my drain. Strange fleshies touch your knob everyday twisting it and forcing you
to drool on them. It’s disgusting and perverted. I always feel dirty
afterwards, even though I’m covered in water.
Speaking of that, can you imagine spending the entire day wet? You lucky sknibags, always dry and toasty. I don’t have body heat to dry my surfaces. The chrome funky if I don’t get scoured with comet every once in a while.
That’s the least of my problems,
too. Once, I got … clogged, and had to get my pipes drained. Ahh! Blessed bliss
when the Drain-o TM cleaned my pipes. It felt so go to have water pass through
my pipes without blockage.
It wasn’t my fault that I was
clogged either. You skinbags would try and force all sorts of things down my
drain. Whatever gave you the idea that fat and grease would actually pass
through my pipes without a problem? It’s like when you fleshies eat fat and
clog your arteries. Ugh, I can feel myself rusting.
Oh, so you don’t like my opinion
of skinbags, huh? Well, what did you expect when talking to me? To actually
enjoy your fiddling with my knobs and pulling my head every which way and
making me hot and cold? It doesn’t work that way fleshie. Why should I like
you? Hey, what are you doing there? Wait is that a pan of …No! Grease!
Ahhhhhh! * gurgle gurgle *